“Most conflict in relationships remain not over heart issues but over a lack of skills in effective communication”

-Dwayne Deskins

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The first step in Healthy communication is listening, not speaking. We are not good listeners by nature. Even when we are speaking the same language, we often misunderstand what is being said 40% of the time. That is why active listening is such a huge part of ensuring we have “heard” correctly. Responding to what we thought someone was saying before we verify what they are trying to communicate, can be a constant source of conflict. Active listening is literally repeating to the communicating party what we heard them say. It is most often awkward at first because we don’t often speak like this but is quickly recognized as a must-have tool as we use it. It is simply “If I heard you correctly” or “I think I heard you saying” then allowing the other party to verify if correct or help correct what they were saying.



Resolve app is an 8-step conflict resolution process that can be used from across the table or across the country. With each step you can communicate directly or by text including emojis. as you progress through the steps options include a “time out” if things get highly emotional or you need a break for other reasons, a “Reschedule” if it’s time to get the children to school or soccer practice and “contact a counselor” in your area if you simply find you are at an impasse in resolving the conflict.